Blogspot Z: Picturesque Padalecki - What Went Wrong?

[zannes]

Blogspot Z: The Last Place to Go for News

Why am I having Padalecki thoughts? Not in a gross way, mind you, but I was thinking about Friday the 13th earlier (random! I know!) and then I saw his DVD Christmas movie cover and my brain's been infested.

First off, DVD cover. This is a good looking man, right? Then how -  when they've got perfect raw material to work with, a professional photographer and DVD cover designer, and time to shoot promotional pictures - did they end up with this?

He looks like a freakin' mushroom head that just stepped in something unpleasant, but hopes no one's noticed! I almost expect Smurfs to be tumbling from his nostrils. *gah* Don't get me wrong. He's hot like burning, in general - even with the goofy hats and flip-flops that make up his entire wardrobe. It's charmingly frat boy. But whomever composed this travesty to not only my eyes and good taste, but to the very harmony of the universe (seriously, what kind of bad karma must the photo editor/whatever have had to make it turn out so questionable?) must be fired. Immediately. Or at least taught to use google and photoshop to come up with something better. 

Which is just sad. And wrong. And slightly pisses me off because whomever it was probably makes boatloads more cash than I do, but that has more to do with my Scrooge McDuck tendencies than anything else. Who hasn't wanted to swan dive into a pool of billions? I never understood how those ducks never wound up with concussions. It was all coins, people! 

Compare this to this. The first shot is totally candid, not even trying and I may have been drunk. What? They had really good and cheap pitchers of margaritas at the Mexican restaurant we went to...twice.  But it is still better than the Salisbury steak we're given on a mass-produced product that will be seen world-wide in the second picture. Available this Christmas! Order now!

I know some people really like the DVD cover, but I don't. It really affronts my delicate visual sensibilities. Not that I won't buy it and have him sign it at LA Con. 'Cause I'm all about him facing up to his artistic choices. Heh.



But now onto Friday the 13th (potential spoilers).   



This has more to do with slasher movies in general, but I was thinking about the trailer and how Darwin would be popping a boner over how stupid these people are. In the first two minutes, after deciding it would be fun to hang out where the known serial killer spends his time and has slaughtered dozens of people again and again, some guy is stabbed through the foot and knee and dragged under a shack to die in an even more horrible manner. His friend of the female sort is playing tug-of-war with Jason, or whatever large ground squirrel has decided to stock the guy away for winter since we can't see what's under the house yanking on him, and I'm thinking...why? So you win and get the guy whose hamstrings have been slashed and has no kneecaps to speak of out of the hole. Then what? You gonna out run the bad guy while carrying your friend's 200 pound ass over your 90-pounds-when-soaking-wet shoulders?

Then I realized I'm not the girl to have with you when attacked by a mask wearing serial killer because I would probably leave your ass behind to die. 

So not only am I duck with more money than God, but also a chicken with horse sense. What's the cross between a chicken and a duck? A chuck? But I bet I'd look really good in the top hat.

But back to Padalecki. 

Darwin's just rolled over and carved two more notches in his bedpost with these two people in the movie trailer and all I can think (it was very early in the morning so forgive the randomness) is that I hope Padalecki doesn't become another notch in Darwin's bedpost.

And in no way am I implying that Darwin is a whore. He's just very, very friendly.


ETA: Look, two minutes and I already made a better one! They can have it for free!





 

Comments

[babelmira.livejournal.com]

I now have the Smurfs tune stuck in my head. Thanks

[zannes.livejournal.com]

You are welcome. Mozart only wished he'd composed it.

[ex-nonniemou154.livejournal.com]

Isn't that movie about Thomas Kincaid or somesuch nonsense? If so, then the Padalecki sex appeal and hot must be toned down for the gentle sensibilities of the masses who are expected to purchase this ... thing. My guess would be that's what the goal was, to play up "sweetness and light" in a "Seventh Heaven" fashion. Not that they succeeded, but...

Urgh. Sorry, the whole idea of this movie makes me nauseous. Not even for Jared will I buy anything remotely related to Thomas Kincaide. Nope.

[zannes.livejournal.com]

They beat the Padalecki sex appeal into submission and castrated it with nail clippers before burning it into ashes. It's just...awful. I have never seen him look more fake in a photo before.

[roseincognitus.livejournal.com]

Lmfao!! Darwin is SUCH a whore. And come on, who wouldn't like to carve a Padalecki notch in their bedpost?
I'm with you on the whole horror movie thing in general. I always find myself rolling my eyes and asking the characters on screen about their general intelligence. Who the hell knowingly puts themselves in danger? You know I'd be right behind you going "FASTER dude - we only need to outrun the idiots."
Although I probably would try to save the Padalecki if need be. Not that HE'D need it, but still. It'd be nice to try. A grateful Padalecki would be potentially ... yummy.
As to the picture - maybe they were trying to make him look less overwhelmingly sexual and more sweet and aw garsh? His eyes are pretty. That's about all I got.

[zannes.livejournal.com]

They can make him look less overwhelmingly sexual without making him look like...that. I even made my own version and I think it's better than their version, even with the crappy photoshop.

[turapele.livejournal.com]

Yep, agreed. There is a hairdresser/stylist who wants to take cover right now. They've made him look like he's trying out for the Osmonds.
Its cheesy and dated and, if it ends up for sale in the UK, he won't have to worry about out running mass murders but rather out running my mum and her mob of randy old women.

[zannes.livejournal.com]

Hhmmm, maybe that's the point. He's supposed to look like Donny Osmond. Even more horrifying!

[brigid-tanner.livejournal.com]

I just delighted that I don't have to go to a theater to see this. I hate the idea of the movie, but for Jared, I'll watch it. I'll also be fast forwarding through any scenes he's not in. It's kind of a cute picture, but he looks so young! I think nonniemous is right...they can't show how sexy he really is. Your picture from Comic Con was MUCH better :)

Not that I won't buy it and have him sign it at LA Con. 'Cause I'm all about him facing up to his artistic choices. Heh. You made him sign "New York Minute", too, didn't you? LOL!!

[zannes.livejournal.com]

I'll admit I'm grateful I don't have to put on my hat and fake beard to go see this. Even I have my limits. But I would've done it for The Padalecki.

Yes! I did and it's an illegible scrawl that no one can read. *sigh* So I'm not sure I can convince people I didn't just doodle on it accidentally.

[willow-fae-20.livejournal.com]

This whole post made me LOL. I read bits to my Hubby and he got a giggle too. I can almost guarantee that my mom and dad will buy the movie (they both love Thomas Kinkade), so I'll be able to borrow it from them and it'll probably end up in my collection.

I personally don't think the picture is all that bad (for what it is...) and will proudly display it in all my J-Pad loving Geekery.

[zannes.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'll buy it, but I won't display it. I'll hide it behind New York Minute in my J-Pad collection. I'm debating how I should arrange my Supernatural cast DVD collection for each actor...genre? Horribleness of movie? Minutes of acting on screen? Copyright date? Ahh, what a conundrum.

[pippinlove.livejournal.com]

Please, during that time period we ALL had the "Dorothy Hamill Wedge" after our "Pixie" haircut grew out.

[zannes.livejournal.com]

I can forgive the God-awful hair, but he looks like he's seasick and high on dramamine.

[gilligan2755.livejournal.com]

you were looking at my yearbook pictures, weren't you!!?? I followed the pixie cut and the dorothy hamill with... wait for it... the Tennille! (as in "The Captain and...)

as a result of the early hair trauma in my life, I currently have hair that I plan to never let get shorter than my shoulders.

[denisitap.livejournal.com]

Not everything is about looks ^_-

These are reviews you should read:

F13: http://video.about.com/movies/Andrew-Form-and-Brad-Fuller.htm

CC: http://fabilimah.livejournal.com/179195.html#cutid2